In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
