he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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