so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
