a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
