Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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