I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
