Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
kristin has been a bad kristin
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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