He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
