it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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