Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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