so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
