laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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