Tell her she can't have a vagina
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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