The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We are two peas in an std pod
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
