dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
