I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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