We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
