a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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