oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
