last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize