Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
