no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
