super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
