Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
