Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
