only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
