Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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