I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
