I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
