She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
