ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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