R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Randomize
