sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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