i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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