so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
