hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
