another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There r osticjed everywhere
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize