Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
