would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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