My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
