Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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