You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
