if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
