my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
