I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
