I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize