lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
