this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
