He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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