Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I want is dick and wine.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
