I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
