If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
