Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
