She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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