Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
