you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
