I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
