This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
