worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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