True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize